Friday, March 25, 2011























She came into our room! Do you hear me? She walked

right into our room as if she had any right to

enter our moment of happiness. She came right into

our special time of rejoicing over the birth of

our new baby boy. She walked right into our lives

wearing her starched stiff white jacket with her

ridiculous hair and began to open her mouth.

Nothing good could come from this, I knew it the

moment I saw her.


When I woke up sweet Liam was beside me in the

bassinet. I took him out and everyone there

celebrating with us sang happy birthday to him and

then with happy tears we all sang "Jesus loves me"

for him. What joy we all shared, what a precious

gift from God this baby is! It was such a sweet

moment in time.

Who does that? Who walks into a celebration of

happiness and new life and asks everyone but mom

and dad to please leave the room. Why then? Why

did it have to be right then? I looked at her

closely and could not really focus on anything in

particular. She had two shadows with her. Who

knows why they were even there. They never spoke.

Just nodded a few times.

Her joy killing words? "We understand"...now

wait, who is "we" exactly? That I still do not

know... Back to her words. "we understand you had

some testing before your baby was born" I heard

myself answer "yes". She continued with something

like this, "Well after looking over your son very

closely we have noticed some features that makes

us think"... I know somewhere shortly after that I

said it to her before she ever did ....-Down

Syndrome-... As the words escaped my mouth..my

eyes just shut down in this weird slow motion

sensation, against my will, as if trying to close

out the reality of what was about to happen but my

ears would not stop trying to listen. My head

became too heavy to hold up and everything, and I

mean everything, in my world began to spin out of

contol. She responded with "Yes. He doesn't have

many of the markers for it and they are soft but

we believe your son has Down Syndrome and would

like to test him for it." There you have it, the ax

that tried to chop every ounce of happiness out of

our hearts that day.

A lot more talking happened after that. I remember

bits of it. However I doubt I will ever be able to

recall all of what was said over the next few

hours after that. Its been three months now and I

still cannot tell you when this conversation took

place. The day Liam was born? The day after?? My

husband doesn't remember either.


I will always feel like this happened at the most

inappropriate time. No one should have walked in

and said anything about it yet. He was perfectly

healthy and in no danger. It could have waited

until......until.


I'd held him already, dressed him in sweet baby

clothes, Kissed him, changed his tiny diaper -

Looked over every ounce of him and I did NOT see

it. My sweet boy at that point hadn't opened his

eyes for me yet either. His ears were crinkled and

bent over on the top..but So were Brennon's when

he was born. He has his daddy's nose. Its regular

looking. I had no idea what they might have seen

at that point that made them feel that way. Surely

they had to be wrong.

They could have waited until I wasn't drugged. They

could have waited until I wasn't so lost in his new

baby smell and sweet fuzzy head. Why did she have

to come into our room? Why did she have to try to

steal our joy?

I did not cry at this point. I just wanted my baby

back in my arms. I pressed the button to call the

nurses' station, "Someone please bring my baby back

to the room".

Sunday, January 2, 2011

This blog is going to be a place of hope. A place of dreams and joys. It will also be a place wear fears are shared and tears are shed. This is our small corner of the world to share with you all the facets of Loving our little Liam.



He was born Dec 14th, 2010. At 36 weeks gestation. He was a healthy 6lbs and 3oz. He was 18 inches long. He was also the sweetest bit of Heaven Id seen or breathed in since the day my oldest son was born! ! He was perfect and precious and he is all ours. He smelled like honey and felt like soft fluffy clouds when I held him the first time. What a gift right out the hands of God he is!! We named him Liam Dace Andrew...yes three names. Each name has a speical meaning and reason and someday soon I will share it here.



For some reason I am unclear on when this happened. I think it was that night after he was born....but a Doctors assistant and a few other medical people came into our room, asked everyone to leave and promptly stole our happiness. She said.. "We believe your son has Down Syndrome". This is also something I will be posting on later....The wonderful day Liam was born and the joy he brought and how this woman came along and tried to take it away.